Birthday Card Messages

Choosing just the right birthday card messages usually means perusing every birthday card at the store before starting all over again, because you just can't seem to find the right one for that special person.

However, by using these funny birthday greetings and other assorted funny birthday jokes to help create a fabulous birthday card at home, along with the imaginative assistance of Birthday Clip Art, you can avoid spending aggravating hours searching for a store-bought card that really isn't what you want anyway.

Funny Birthday Greetings for all Ages

Use these in congratulatory speeches, birthday card messages and toasts to the birthday guy or gal:

• It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. She told me she wanted something with diamonds. That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.

Of course, it's exciting to be (40, 50, 60, etc). If you weren't having a birthday, you'd be dead!

You know you are getting old when you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!

vintage birthday greeting with red roseWhat did one candle say to the other?
"Don't birthdays just burn you?"

Forget about the past, you can't change it.
Forget about the future, you can't predict it.
Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.

(Name) is so old now that he, or she, thinks happy hour is a nap!

There are many advantages to turning 50--just ask any 70 year old.



40th Funny Birthday Jokes and Birthday Card Messages

Some people find it hard to cope with turning 40 so to bring a little levity to the party.

Here is some birthday humor for birthday card messages regarding a 40th birthday:

Turning 40 means police officers start looking like teenagers and your friends are becoming grandparents for the first time.

Only 87,600 hours until you're 50

A person of 40 today has nothing to worry about except falling hair, inability to button the top button, failing vision, shortness of breath, a tendency of the collar to shut off all breathing, trembling of the kidneys to whatever tune the orchestra is playing, and a general sense of giddiness when the matter of rent is due. Forty is Life's Golden Age
Robert Benchley

"You're not 40--it's only the first anniversary of your 39th birthday" or

 "You're not 40--you're really just $39.95, plus tax"
are both good birthday card messages.

Ten more years and you will be considered a valuable antique!

Congratulations! You're being promoted from 39 to 40!

Now that you are 40, here is some important advice--never attempt bending down except under strict medical supervision.

You should be really happy about turning 40, because now all your favorite movies are being re-leased in color.


You can use any of these funny birthday jokes or invent your own birthday card messages to include in this

Easy homemade card:

You will need a piece of colored cardstock, any color you wish, ten small buttons in colors matching the cardstock, glue, decorative scissors, the kind with wavy edges, regular scissors and a variety of Birthday Clipart.

Cut the edges of the cardstock and fold over to make a card. Glue the tiny buttons around the card's edges as well.

Paste appropriate clipart images that correspond with your birthday card messages or a happy birthday message you want to write inside the card.

For example, you can make an owl-themed birthday card by finding owl pictures at Owl Clip Art and Owl Pictures and using phrases like

"I give a hoot that it's your birthday" or

"Yooo Hoooo! It's your special day.”

Buttons can also be used to create faces, flower centers, truck or auto wheels and cartoon insects when making homemade birthday cards.
An assortment of rubber stamps bearing a variety of images or words also helps in designing original cards.

Combining Birthday Clipart with craft items such as glitter, small pieces of foam to add a three dimensional appearance, gel ink pens, stencils, rhinestones and lace will provide you with a beautiful and unique card the recipient will be overjoyed to receive from you.


50th Birthday Humor

Here are some zingy one-liners that would work well as a birthday joke in a speech or as birthday card messages:

Now that you are 50, you'll never have to worry about those harrowing visits to the dentist anymore.

Now that you are 50, you'll always come in 1st or 2nd place in history trivia games.

Use plenty of denture cream before blowing out all those candles--we don't want you to lose your false teeth!

Use this happy birthday to think about all that you've done in your life and what you still plan to do. But be sure to look at yourself in the mirror on your way out so you can be sure that you aren't leaving the house in just your underwear!

Turning 50 is a time to ask important questions, such as "Where in the world did I park my car?” "What did I come in this store to buy?" or "Why don't I get the senior citizens discount yet?"

Getting old has its advantages such as not being able to read the bathroom scale anymore or the many corny birthday card messages!

Think of getting old this way--although your hair is turning gray and your body is falling apart, your car insurance keeps getting cheaper every year!

50! Now is the time to make your mark on the world--explore the Antarctic or become an astronaut. Make up your mind to take on exciting new challenges--right after your nap.

Funny birthday jokes at 50th birthday parties and witty toasts all make milestone birthdays a celebration instead of something to dread and regret, so with a little birthday humor you can change the day.


65th Birthday Jokes

These birthday card messages will be sure to put a smile on the face of anyone turning 65.

You know when you are a senior citizen because ........

You're the life of the party--even it lasts until 8 P.M.

• You're great when it comes to opening childproof bottles with a hammer.

• You're usually thinking about going home before you get to where you are going.

• You're always smiling because you can't hear what anyone is saying.

• You're lumpy, saggy and wrinkled--and that's just your left leg.

• You're aware of how well you tell stories--over and over and over again.


We're Over the Hill

Birthday card messages like this would be great from one "over the hill" person to another:

We're over the hill but don't feel sad
This side of the hill ain't all that bad.
So give a high-five and then a smile
To us who have been here for awhile.

With by-pass pain and mended hip
And plumbing fixtures prone to drip
We all may seem a sorry lot
But we rejoice for what we've got.

We've paid our share for unused knowledge
As the kids are now all done with college.
We complain to them about our health
As they worry about our dwindling wealth.

But we ask you make a pledge today
That you'll be careful what you say.
We have to spread "Over the Hill" fear
Or we'll have those young folks over here.


Birthday Party Invitation Wording

If you are having a particular themed birthday party for a family member or friend, you might want to make your invitations instead of purchasing generic, boring invitations that have nothing to do with the theme of the party.

In addition to including the date, time, location and RSVP, you should also incorporate birthday humor in the form of a poem or birthday card messages, such as something like this:

Let down your hair and kick off your shoes
You don't want to miss this--here's the news!
It's Bob's birthday--time to celebrate
So leave your home early and don't be late!
Some things get better the older they grow.
Wine and cheese and someone special we all know!
Bob is having a birthday but, darn it, he's feeling a little old
Especially since his age
Everyone's been told!
Please join us to help celebrate
Bob's 50th birthday!


Here is a cute idea for a birthday party invitation you can make at home:

Using a sharp utility knife, cut out several small "windows" or flaps on a half sheet of cardstock.
Glue this piece onto another piece of cardstock (any color combination you wish) so that when you open the windows, you see the other piece of cardstock underneath the flap.

Above each flap, write "Time", "Location" and "Date" and write this information under the windows.
Paste Birthday Clipart around the windows and add a decorative border to the invitation.

Write birthday messages along the top of the invitation such as

"Open the windows and join the fun, we plan on partying until the midnight sun".

To help you with creating birthday card messages, try using a rhyming website where you simply type in a word to access other rhyming words.
I normally use a website called for this, but I'm sure there are a lot pages like that on the internet.

If you have trouble coming up with ideas kind of birthday message, use an online thesaurus to inspire you, for instance

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